


Love for a princess

by peri_zuli



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Fantasy AU, Princess AU, lapidot - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-11-17 04:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11268381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peri_zuli/pseuds/peri_zuli
Summary: Peridot is arranged to marry a prince to seal the alliance between White diamonds kingdom, and the Yellow and Blue diamond kingdoms. Until she starts to have feelings for her best friend Lapis.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda a Lapidot fantasy/princess au idea I had. So I guess if you guys like this I'll write more chapters! I do plan on writing multiple chapters for this, I have a lot of stuff planned for this story. I hope you all enjoy. Let me know if there's any mistakes.

The girl, very well known as Lapis Lazuli, awoke late in the morning. She groaned, as she sat up, and stretched her slender arms. Once she stood from her large bed, she looked around her room.  
Yawning, she glanced at the clock on the wall.

It was 8:39 AM  
"Shit I'm late!" she cursed loudly. She stumbled to her wardrobe, and hurriedly put on the first dress she found. She struggled to tie the back of the dress before going to the mirror,  
and quickly brushing through her bright blue hair. Not caring much if it looked messy, she settled with how it looked after a few brushes. It's not like her company hadn't seen her like this.  
Lapis opened the door and was immediately greeted by the castle pearl. 

"Good morning princess."

Lapis huffed, but tried to keep calm. "I thought I told you to wake me up at 7!"

"I did." Blue pearl responded smoothly. "Then you told me to go away and wake you up in 30 minutes. Then when I did that you cursed at me and fell back asleep. Your mother told me to stop bothering you."

"Of course." Lapis thought. "No one can ever get me up on time."

She stumbled out an apology, before taking off down the stairs. After almost tumbling down, she ran down several halls before finding the door. She bolted out and ran along the castle wall to find the garden. After stepping on several rocks she realized she forgot shoes, but it was too late for that. She would just have to deal with bruised feet.

She approached a small wooden table among the flower beds. At the table sat a young gem with messy blonde hair, and large, round framed glasses with green tinted lenses. She had slightly chubby cheeks, a small pointed nose, and a triangle shaped gem in the middle of her forehead.

"Sorry I'm late. Again."

"I was wondering when you would show up." The girl sitting at the table replied. 

"Oh hush, Peridot." Lapis sat down. "You should know by now not to plan these things so early."

"Maybe you shouldn't stay up so late reading, and go to bed at a normal time, like everyone else in this castl- You're not even wearing shoes!"

Lapis stuck her tongue out at Peridot. Peridot returned the rude gesture, before taking a bite of a pastry. 

"They're a little cold now. I already ate some."

Lapis sighed, and snatched a few snacks from the basket. "I enjoy having these picnics with you, but do they have to be so early?"

"I would have asked Pearl to plan it at noon, but I have to try on wedding dresses then." She took a bite of the pastry again. "Then after that I have to recite some poetry for the court."

"Oh..." Lapis felt a little worse about sleeping in. Ever since Peridots 19th birthday, she's been busier than ever. Her mother has been planning a wedding for her since she was just a kid. In almost two months, Peridot was going to be married to White diamonds son. Because of this, Peridot had to be involved in the preparation too. Which means they didn't have as much free time to spend together. Lapis of course, has felt incredibly lonely, as she had not been able to spend as much time with her only friend, but she did not want to bother her about how much she missed her. She didn't wanna ruin the excitement of her marriage. Though Peridot has never really shown any interest or disinterest on the subject.

Peridot showed a look of concern on her face. "Hey, It's ok." She reached over to gently grasp lapis' hand. "We still have time for our picnic now!"

Lapis squeezed the others hand. "You're right, There's no use in crying about it now."

Peridot smiled. Lapis couldn't help but smile back.

Lapis begin to think about the arrangement again. She didn't want to get in Peridots business, but of course, her impulse took over.

"So have you met him yet?" Lapis asked

"Hm? Alabaster?"

"Yes him." Lapis added. "It's been years, and you still haven't met this guy that you've been fated to marry since you were a child."

"I haven't" Peridot tapped her fingers on the table. "Mom said he is coming to the castle in a week."

Lapis sighed and looked around the all too familiar setting. "Remember when we first met?"

"Yeah." Peridot answered. "I tried to give you a flower, and you sprayed me with water." She then grumbled.

"No," Lapis giggled. "Not that. I'm sorry by the way."

"What do you mean then?"

"I mean, do you remember how long ago it was."

"We weren't even 6 yet." Peridot answered. "What about it?"

"Well, we met at such a young age. It's made us close friends because of it." Lapis paused for a second. "Shouldn't you have met this guy years ago, if you're going to be married?"

"Mom said it's because their kingdom isn't close enough for regular visits. It doesn't matter anyways. It doesn't change anything. If we don't like each other we still have to get married."

"I can't imagine having to do that. Marriage is supposed to be a special thing, with someone you love."

"I have to. It's the only way we can get an alliance accepted." 

"Our moms got into an alliance easily." Lapis responded. "Why can't it be the same in this case?"

"White diamond is more strict with her rules." 

There was silence. 

Lapis looked down at the food she was eating. "Are you... excited? Are you happy about this?"

Peridot didn't say anything for a few seconds, as if she was looking for an answer. "Yeah." She finally said. "It's a big thing. I'm the key to an alliance that will make our kingdoms stronger!"

"Yeah I guess." Lapis was no longer eating, and instead playing with her food. "I'm happy that you're gonna be part of such a big thing. You're even going to be queen one day, that's exciting."

Lapis wasn't sure how she should feel about this. Thinking about all this actually happening made her feel slightly sick. She wasn't sure why she felt something was wrong, but she did feel guilty. This was for the kingdom. Peridot seemed happy about it too. She shouldn't ruin that. 

"Is everything alright?" Peridot asked worriedly.

"Yeah." Lapis answered. "I guess I'm just worried about you. I want you to be happy."

"I'll be fine, don't worry!" Peridot reassured. "Mom says I'll like him, and I'll be happy to help with something this important."

"Are you sure your mom is not just saying that?"

"...I'll just take her word for it." Peridot gave a slightly forced smile.

Right before Lapis went to speak again, Yellow diamonds pearl sprinted over to the two.

Peridot sighed. "What now?"

"Scheduling has changed." Pearl replied. "I need you back to the yellow district, and to your room immediately"

"Come on." Peridot whined. "Can't it wait? I'm talking to Lapis."

"Queens orders, I apologize princess."

"It's okay" Lapis mumbled. "Just go, we can catch up later."

Peridot stood up and reached over to hug Lapis tightly. Lapis quickly returned the hug. Peridot then hurried to Yellow Pearl, and they began walking away.

"Also Pearl!" Lapis exclaimed "A message for Yellow Diamond. 'Fuck off.'" She stopped to laugh. "...Don't actually tell her that, or she'll kick my ass."

Yellow Pearl held back a giggle, hiding it by clearing her throat, though Peridot didn't bother hiding her giggle. She flashed a smile at Lapis, and waved as she walked off.

After they were out of sight, Lapis stood up, and made her way back to her room. Hopefully, Peridot would be back soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so here is the second chapter! I hope you all like it.
> 
> Tw for overbearing parents and arranged marriage mention in case that stuff makes you uncomfortable

"How about... this one?"

"No." Peridot grumbled nervously, with her arms crossed.

"Why not?" Yellow Diamond asked.

"I don't like it. Can't you just let me choose one myself?"

"Oh, no no." Yellow Diamond replied. "It's best if you let me choose. I want you to look the best you can when White Diamond arrives."

Peridot growled. This was taking way longer than it needed. All because they couldn't decide on one stupid dress.

"This isn't going to be any regular party." Yellow continued. "It's a welcome party. Not only for White Diamond, but your future husband. We have to make it special."

"I don't need a big fancy dress." Peridot retorted. "It's not like i'm going to wear it again. We don't need an expensive dress for one occasion."

"So you would rather wear one of your old, dusty gowns?"

"If it meant I didn't have to wear this, yes."

"I think it looks nice." Yellow Diamond turned to Pearl. "Don't you think, Pearl?"

"Uh- Yes, it looks wonderful, my Diamond!" Yellow Pearl responded.

"See, she thinks so too," Yellow Diamond turned back to Peridot. "-but I guess if you absolutely have to, you can wear a sloppy dress. Who cares that I planned this whole party for you, and would  
like you to at least put effort in your appearance."

Of course, she was guilt tripping again. It's how she always got her way, and Peridot hated it.

"Fine. I'll wear something "Nice" in your standards, but I'm not wearing this." She made her way back into the dressing room, to remove the constricting dress.

Peridot sighed once she finally got it off. She wanted this to be over. If it was just her choosing, then she would just grab a dress and go. Of course, since her mom was there, everything had to  
be an argument.

She grabbed another dress. It was somewhat loose, but still fitting. It was a dark shade of green, so it complimented her well. It also didn't have any unnecessary decoration tacked onto it, like  
all the other dresses picked out by her mother.

She pulled the dress up, and tied it in the back until it fit her. As soon as she looked into the large mirror, she felt this dress was made for her. It was simple, comfortable, and still nice.

"Are you finished yet?"

"Just a second mom." Peridot then stepped out.

Yellow Diamond stared at the dress. Peridot looked away nervously. "I wanna wear this one."

"I think it's an excellent choice, princess." Pearl said. 

"It's not perfect, but I guess it'll do." Yellow Diamond droned. "Go change back. Pearl will bring it to your room."

Peridot quickly ran back to change into her normal attire. She handed the folded, green dress to Yellow Pearl, and thanked her.

Yellow Pearl scurried out of the room. Peridot walked to the edge of the area to sit down. 

"Peridot." Yellow Diamond sighed again. "I hope you are taking this seriously."

Peridot shot her mother a confused look. "Taking what seriously?"

"Everything. The arrangement. The party. The marriage. You can't mess this up."

"It's hard to take things seriously when I barely know whats going on." Peridot said under her breath. Having this be brought up again was getting annoying.

"You aren't a child anymore, Peridot. You won't be a princess for long." Yellow Diamond sat down. "You're going to be a queen. Married to White Diamonds son. You have to be there by his side at   
every moment. You can't mess around. An entire kingdom is counting on you."

Peridot wished she could have thought about the arrangement, without thinking about all the stress put on her. "Yes, I understand that."

"You have to act like a wife. You have to be a queen that everyone needs."

Peridot groaned. Her mom has given her this talk so many times, she can't even count. She was tired of this. 

"Hey. Don't be like that. This is serious."

"I know it is. I just wish you would stop reminding me. I know I have to service the kingdom, and my to be husband. I know this." Peridot sat up. "I'm gonna go. I need to practice, before I have to  
read." She had already memorized the lines perfectly, but she wanted an excuse to get out of there.

Peridot quickly dashed through the door. She felt like she was going to scream if she had to hear more of this. She made it to her room, and plopped onto her bed. 

She rolled over, and hugged a large pillow. All this was so weird to think about. It was weird to think of herself being queen in the future, and being a wife, and likely, having to become a mother  
as well. It was happening so fast. She didn't know what to think of it. If she was honest, she had always seen her future self with her best friend, and doing all the things she normally does.   
Just living a normal life.

She didn't want things to change, but she assured herself that most things would be the same. It's not like she had to leave her home, right? She would still be in the same castle, with the  
same family, same kingdom, and with Lapis. That was all she wanted. 

She kept reminding herself that it was gonna be okay, and that almost everything will stay the same. It was gonna be okay. This marriage was gonna happen eventually, so she had to make the best  
of it.

She had to stay positive about this. She had to think of the good things that would happen. This was all for the kingdom. This was all for her family. She could do this.

She got herself to feel happy about the near future. It was all so strange, but it would all be okay in the end. She was sure of it. This was going to do good for everyone.

She let go of the pillow she was grasping. After standing up once again, she straightened out her hair, and made her way downstairs. 

After all this was done, she would finally be able to have time to herself. Maybe, she would even still have time to go see Lapis again. 

It was gonna be okay. She had to make sure to keep telling herself that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter three 
> 
> Gals being pals am I right
> 
> Edit: Sorry about all the awkward spacing. It spaces like that because of what I write with and I forgot to fix it before posting it. It's fixed now!

Lapis sat on her large bed. She got word that Peridot was free for the rest of the night. They would be able to spend all night together, with no interruptions. No lessons. No schedules. Lapis couldn't be more glad.

Meanwhile, Peridot sped through the halls to get to Lapis' room. She had been exhausted from today. Of course, she wasn't too tired to see Lapis. Seeing Lapis at the end of the day would make her feel a lot better. That's why they were "best friends", after all. 

Peridot finally made it to the door. She reached for the doorknob, before realizing that knocking is a thing. She knocked lightly.

Lapis heard the other, and sat up right away. She jogged to the door to greet the other. As soon as the door opened, Peridot launched towards Lapis, to be surrounded in a hug.

"I missed you." Peridot sighed. "Today has been hell."

"Did something happen?" Lapis said, as she pulled away.

"No it's fine. Just the same old."

Lapis frowned. "You wanna talk about it?"

"It's fine. I just had to spend all day planning. Which would be fine, if my mother didn't have to make it so complicated and stressful." Peridot replied.

"Oh yeah. That's in about a week right?"

"Mhm."

Peridot fumbled with her fingers nervously. 

Lapis fixed the sheets on her bed, so the two could sit down. "Ever since planning started, you've acted so strange when it's brought up. Is everything okay?"

Peridot sat down with the other. "Yeah, Why wouldn't everything be okay?" 

Lapis placed a hand onto Peridots. "You're lying."

Peridots cheeks heated. "I am not."

"Yes you are. Talk to me."

Peridot took a breath. "I'm just nervous Lapis."

"About them arriving?" She asked.

"Yes. As well as meeting Alabaster, and White Diamond." Peridot confirmed. "What am I even going to say to them?" 

"I don't know. Just say 'Hi' and talk about things you like."

"I don't think they would be very interested in listening to me talk on and on about inventing and machinery." Peridot answered.

"I'm interested in listening."

Peridot leaned nearer to Lapis. "Something is gonna go wrong. I know it."

"You don't know that." Lapis added.

Peridot looked away. "I'm gonna mess it all up. Especially if I have to dance with him."

Lapis leaned to look at Peridots face. "What's wrong with dancing?"

"...I don't know how..." She admitted.

"You don't know how?"

Peridot shook her head in response.

"I can just show you!" Lapis stood up.

"Do you even know how to dance either?"

"...No, but it seems simple enough. I'm sure I can handle the basics." She reached for the others hands, so she could pull Peridot up with her.

Peridot giggled at the other. "Okay Okay, but you have to lead."

"Of course." Lapis stepped away from the bed, so they could both have more room. Peridot followed soon after. 

"So... what do-... where do I..."

"Here." Lapis reached for Peridots hand, and held it gently, but firmly. Entwining her fingers with the other. She clutched Peridots other hand, and brought it up to lay upon on her shoulder. Then, once her hand was free, she brought it down to the Peridots hip, and wrapped her arm around her waist.

"Is this okay?" She asked.

Peridot shifted her eyes away. Trying, and failing, to keep from blushing. "Y-Yes."

Lapis snickered lightly. She was incredibly cute when she blushed like that. "Now, I think we just walk together but, slowly? Just try not to step on my foot."

She gently pulled the other with her, and they slowly stepped in a circular pattern together. Peridot focused on her feet placement. 

"See? You're already doing great."

Peridot smiled, and looked back up at Lapis. Her teal eyes, that looked green from her glasses, staring into Lapis' dark blue ones.

This time, Lapis couldn't help but blush. She felt like she could stare at her forever. 

She slowly stepped in another circular motion. 

They couldn't keep their eyes off of each other. They unknowingly pulled each other closer. Making no space in between them. 

Their faces were inches apart. They stared at each other for a few more seconds, before bursting out in a fit of laughter.

They kept dancing, this time, more sped up. They spun around the room together. 

Lapis dipped the other. She almost tripped during the process, but luckily caught her. They laughed again. Lapis looked at the girl she was holding. Her mouth widened in a smile, as she snickered loudly. Lapis held her there, staring for an unnecessarily long time, but neither of them minded. They just wanted to spend this time together.

Lapis finally picked the other back up. Peridot then controlled her giggles, before gently laying her head on Lapis' shoulder.

"Mm... This is nice." Peridot said in a soft voice.

Lapis' heart was definitely pounding. She felt incredibly light as they held onto each other. They stood there for a few more moments, Neither wanting to stop, but they would have to eventually. Peridot pulled Lapis over and they both toppled onto the bed.

Lapis grinned at the other. Peridot shifted so they were laying right next to each other. They both stared at the ceiling, in a comfortable silence. 

"You look tired." Lapis finally uttered out.

"I am tired." Peridot responded sleepily.

"You should go to sleep."

"I don't wanna walk back. I wanna stay with you." Peridot yawned.

Lapis sat up, and hovered near Peridot.

"You can stay, but you still need sleep."

Peridot sat up as well, and then moved near the pillows. "I'm sleeping in your bed, then."

Lapis couldn't argue with that. She made her way near Peridot. She lifted the blankets over them, and rolled over to the side. Peridot turned off the desk light, and laid on the other side.

They both laid comfortably. Drowsy, and on the verge of sleep. Both of their hearts were racing, but they both felt very calm. They laid there, forgetting about the rest of the day, and just thinking about one another. Neither knowing why they felt like this, but enjoying it nonetheless. This feeling together was so familiar, it made them both happy. 

"Night Peri."

"Goodnight Lapis."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter. Again, let me know if there's any mistakes.
> 
> Tw for mentions of neglectful parents

It was the day White Diamond was arriving. The Pearls were running frantically around the castle, making sure everything was perfect. Meanwhile, Lapis was in her room, getting herself ready.

She slipped on the bright, blue dress that her, and Blue Pearl, chose together. She was quite thankful that she was given help with what to wear. Blue Pearl was often helpful and many times had given Lapis much needed advice. Sometimes, she considered Blue Pearl more like a mother than her actual mother. Blue Pearl is busy, and usually with Blue diamond, but she at least acted like she cared about Lapis. Something she rarely saw her own mother do.

Lapis put a few clips in her hair. As soon as she finished getting herself ready, she slouched down on a chair.

Her and Peridot had been practicing dancing all week. One week wasn't enough to learn how to dance, but it was better to try together. There was just a problem. Lapis could not stop thinking about her. Which was normal, but in this way, it was different. She couldn't stop thinking about how perfectly their fingers entwined. How Peridots hips swayed as they danced. How Peridots fingers brushed against Lapis' skin, as they held each other. 

She tried keeping these thoughts away, but they wouldn't go. She felt guilty. She felt that It was disrespectful to focus on her friend like that, but Lapis couldn't help but find herself wanting to dance with her over, and over again.

She shook her thoughts away, and sat back up. She gave herself a mental note to not worry about it. It's not like she even liked Peridot like that. They were best friends. She didn't think Peridot would be too fond of her if she did think of her like that, anyway. 

Of course, she didn't know the same thoughts were racing through the other girls mind as well. Dancing with Lapis made it feel so easy for her. She felt light as Lapis spun her around, and pulled her close. She felt warm with her. This isn't the first time it has happened either. The two had always been more touchy, and close with each other, but there would be some times, when Lapis would hug her extra tightly, or when she would cup her cheek and look into her eyes, or, the moments that have been happening the past week, that made her head spin.

She was absolutely enamored with how she moved when they danced. It was all that was on her mind.

They couldn't read each others minds, so they both thought they were alone with these feelings.

Lapis wasn't sure why she felt so tense. Now the day was here, where Peridot would meet her future spouse. Lapis was scared for unknown reasons. Well, she did know, but she didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to admit that she was scared Peridot would like Alabaster more than her. She didn't want to admit that she didn't want Alabaster to come at all. She was scared of losing her friend. 

Was it jealousy? Yes, Definitely, and Lapis loathed herself for being upset with this. If she was really a good friend, shouldn't she be happy for Peridot? She couldn't bring herself to be happy about this, and she didn't know why she cared so much. Peridot was still going to be her friend. They would still see each other, so why was she so worried?

"Princess?" A squeaky voice perked from the door.

"Pearl! I didn't notice you there... Come in." Lapis said as she stood up.

Blue Pearl opened the door, and walked to Lapis. "Is everything alright? You don't look so good."

"Oh- I um- I'm fine! Just, kinda tired..."

Blue Pearl set a hand on Lapis' shoulder. "Maybe you should get some rest before the party."

"No! I'm fine I swear. I just uh... need some fresh air."

Blue Pearl looked at Lapis. "Are you worried about the meeting?"

Lapis looked away. Blue Pearl was reading her emotions like a book. 

"A little, but it's fine. I'll get over it. I better go." Lapis quickly made her way to the door, and left the room, before Pearl could ask more questions.

Lapis came down the stairs, and took a sharp left into the nearest hallway. She realized she was breathing quite heavily, and tried to control her breaths as she made her way down the hall.

Lapis started to consider if she should even go to this party at all, but she wanted to be there for Peridot. She refused to make her go alone. Peridot was likely anxious, and Lapis couldn't make her anxiety worse, by not showing up.

Lapis turned back around, and went to the front door. She soon made her way to the garden. No one came here much but her, Peridot, and the gardener.

Lapis sat down at the small table. She closed her eyes and sighed. 

Lapis sat in silence for several minutes, before she heard an all too familiar voice.

"Lapis?"

Lapis jolted up. She turned around to see Peridot, only she wasn't wearing her normal attire. She had a beautiful dark green dress on. Her usually messy hair was made up neatly. She looked amazing, and Lapis' heart skipped a beat.

"P-Peridot! I thought you were at the dance hall!"

Peridot stepped closer to Lapis. "I was, but I came to look for you. I wanted to make sure you're doing okay."

"I'm doing fine."

"Lapis, I know that's a lie."

Lapis looked down at the ground. "I'm just nervous like everyone else. It's fine."

Peridot linked her arm with Lapis'. It'll be okay. Let's just stick together for the party, alright?

Lapis loosened up once Peridot held her arm. "Okay."

"We should go. White Diamond isn't here yet, but the party is starting soon."

Lapis nodded. The two kept their arms linked together, as they walked to the dance hall.

Having Peridot by her side, made Lapis feel a lot better. They made it to the large room. As soon as they opened the door, many guests where already there. The yellow and blue courts, sat near the front of the room. Many tables were set with lots of treats, and loud music was echoing throughout the room.

Everything felt overloading, and intimidating. Lapis held onto Peridot tightly, as they made their way through the room. 

They finally got to the front of the room, and sat with the court. Lapis and Peridot were still holding each other by the arms. They sat together. and as they waited patiently for White Diamond to arrive.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are once again with chapter 5.
> 
> Tw: unwanted advances

"Do you think she's here?"

"I don't know." 

Hushed voices filled the room. Lapis and Peridot both craned their necks, to get a better view. Quartz guards rushed to the door. Someone was here.

The large door was opened. A tall woman stepped inside. Like everyone assumed, it was White Diamond.

Peridot slouched in her seat nervously. Lapis used her free hand to gently hold the others, hoping to be able to ease her anxiety.

"Oh! Welcome to our castle!" Yellow Diamond stood up. "It's an honor to have you here."

Blue Diamond stood up as well. "Please, Make yourself at home. Lapis, Why don't you and Peridot go introduce yourselves?"

Lapis nodded, and got up, bringing Peridot with her. They both walked towards White Diamond. The two princesses still clutched each others arms tightly.

"I-I'm Peridot. This is Lapis Lazuli. It's very nice to meet you, My diamond." Peridot said nervously.

White Diamond looked down at the two. "It's nice to meet you too." She looked off to the side. "Pearl, bring Alabaster in."

"Yes my diamond!"

Peridot took a deep breath. This was the moment, where she was supposed to meet her future spouse. She waited nervously. Waiting for the feelings everyone told her she would feel. It was supposed to be love at first sight. She was supposed to fall in love right when he walked in. This was supposed to be the man of her dreams. That's what everyone told her. She waited for the butterflies in her stomach, and the racing of her heart. She saw White Pearl make her way back with someone. This was gonna be it. She saw Alabaster walk into the room.

She felt nothing.

No attraction, no butterflies, no nothing. To Peridot, he was just some guy standing in the same room.

She started to internally panic. It was supposed to feel different, wasn't it? She had to feel something. He was going to be her spouse! She can't just feel nothing for him. Her mother told her that she would fall in love instantly, and that's how it was supposed to be. 

Alabaster made his way towards them. Peridot didn't know what she was going to do, or say. She prayed that maybe feelings would come for him, once they got to know each other.

"Are you doing okay?" Lapis whispered.

Peridot couldn't lie. She shook her head slightly. 

"I'm gonna be right here with you. It'll be alright."

Peridot relaxed slightly with those words. She was still terrified, but knowing Lapis was with her, she at least felt a little better.

Alabaster stood before the two.

"Introduce yourself." Commanded White Diamond.

"It's an honor to meet you, princess. I am, as you know already know, Alabaster." He firmly grabbed her free hand, and shook it.

Peridot shook back. She wasn't able to look anyone in the eye. Peridot tried pulled her hand away as soon as they were done. Alabaster still held it firmly.

"Lapis." Blue Diamonds voice echoed to Lapis. "Please give them some space now. You don't need to be a part of this."

"But-"

"Now."

Lapis looked back at Peridot. She gave her hand a squeeze before leaving.

Peridot didn't want her to go. She felt like Lapis was the only one here, keeping her from breaking down. She had to face this alone now. She wasn't sure if she could.

Lapis walked away from Peridot. She felt awful for leaving her, but she had to listen to her mother. She walked to the court, trying not to look back at Peridot.

"Now, Peridot, I trust your mother has told you the recent change in plans?"

Peridot furrowed her brow. "What change in plans?"

"The plans concerning your new place of living. Your mother and I, had discussed this since the beginning of this week."

"N-...No. What do you mean?"

"Well, since no one has told you, I supposed I will. To make things easier for everyone, Once the wedding has been finished, you will be coming back to our kingdom, and will be staying there."

Peridots eyes widened. She didn't want to believe what she was hearing. It didn't hit her right away. "O-Okay."

"Good. Glad to see you're on board. I shall be leaving you two alone." She sauntered away.

Peridot started to fumble her fingers nervously. She refused to think about what she just heard. It couldn't be true.

Alabaster looked back at Peridot. "Now that she's gone, let's dance."

"Oh- Um..."

Alabaster dragged Peridot to the middle of the room, before she could answer.

He grabbed her other hand, and brought her uncomfortably close. Peridot didn't want to seem rude by pulling away. Though, it was more rude of him to do that without asking.

White Diamond had made her way to sit with the courts. Lapis scanned the room, and eventually found Peridot. Seeing Peridot dance with Alabaster, reminded her of when they danced. It made her slightly upset to see her dancing with someone else now, but she tried to shake the feeling away. She tried to make herself feel happy for them, but it was hard. Hopefully, this would make Peridot happy. That's what she cared about most. Every part of her pleaded to go back, and stay right by her side, but she knew she couldn't.

Meanwhile, Peridot attempted to dance. It seemed to be going fine, but everything felt so awkward. She tried her best to not think about what White Diamond told her, and tried to focus on their dance.

Something about this didn't feel right. It felt so different when she danced with Lapis. It was fun, and easy, and she felt happy and light. This all felt so weird. She wished she was dancing with Lapis instead. When she danced with Lapis, it felt like how it was supposed to.

She had to quit thinking about Lapis. It just made her want to be with her more. Right now, it was about Alabaster. It was about her kingdom, but Lapis was still on her mind. She couldn't get her thoughts under control. 

"So, Tell me about yourself, princess."

Peridot snapped out of her train of thought. Maybe talking would distract her.

"Well, I uh, like gardening. I also like learning about machinery."

"That's no fun. Trust me, in our castle, we have the best gems to do that work. So you can have time to do useful hobbies."

Peridot faked a laugh. Any chances of her ever developing feelings for this guy, were diminishing quickly.

Peridots gaze kept shifting over to the court. Lapis soon caught her eye. Her attempts to not think about her, were not working out so well.

"What are you looking at?" Alabaster asked.

"Nothing!" Peridot forced her gaze away. "I was just making sure Lapis was doing alright."

"There's no need to worry about her. She's not part of the arrangement."

"Sorry..." Peridot mumbled.

Thoughts of her leaving couldn't leave her mind now. She was leaving the home she knew all her life, but that wasn't why she was upset. She was going to be leaving Lapis. The girl who meant everything to her. They would both do everything together, and do everything for each other, and Peridot didn't know how she was gonna handle being away from her. There's no way they would let her take the entire trip home to see Lapis. Likely, she would never see Lapis again after the marriage.

Her thoughts kept racing through her mind. After realizing that all these plans would include her leaving Lapis forever, she felt nauseous. The gem started to have a hard time breathing regularly. Everything felt hot and uncomfortable, and it felt like the ground was moving beneath her feet. She barely felt like she could stand.

After looking back to Alabaster, she noticed him inching his face closer to her own. 

She shut her eyes tightly started to shake. She wasn't ready for this. She didn't want to do this.

She freed her arms and quickly pushed him away. "I-I have to go!"

She sharply turned back around, and ran for the door. She got out of there before He could say anything else. She kept running, almost stumbling over multiple times. She didn't stop until she got to her bedroom. It felt like it took hours to get there.

Her legs gave up on her, and she collapsed onto the ground. She held herself up with her arms, as she started to hyperventilate. She felt like everything around her was turning into a disaster. Muffled music, and loud laughter made its way to her room from the party. It was dark, with only the moon illuminating her room through the window.

Then she thought about Lapis. She thought about how once this was over, she would never see her bright smile again. She would never be able to feel the warmth of her hugs, or hear her laugh. It was gonna be over. She couldn't stand the thought of it. She didn't want to go. This isn't what she wanted to do. She wanted to be with Lapis, and only Lapis. 

She was in love with Lapis, and she knew that she couldn't do anything about her feelings. She knew that she was never gonna be with Lapis the way she wanted to. She could never be with Lapis at all. She couldn't deny that she had loved Lapis for as long as she could remember. Even if she didn't realize it at first, everything that she was told that she would feel for Alabaster, she felt for Lapis instead. She felt intense love for her, that made her feel like she could fly. Lapis was the one she truly loved, not Alabaster. 

She wanted Lapis, but it wouldn't matter to her mother, Blue Diamond, White Diamond, or Alabaster, because it's not what they want.

A sob escaped her throat. Tears fell onto her dress. She felt hopeless. She felt everything that she ever cared about, was going to be taken away from her. Which was true. All she cared about is Lapis, and she was being taken away from her. The future she saw with Lapis was slipping away, and she felt like she could never get it back.

She brought her hand up to her mouth, and let her tears continue flow. She clutched her dress with her other hand. All she could do right now was cry. 

She wished so bad things could be different. She wanted nothing more than to be happy with Lapis. She pulled her legs up. She kept crying and hiccuping harshly, as she hugged her legs.

She told herself everything was going to be okay, but it wasn't okay.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here. Sorry it took so long! I was spending a while proof reading and stuff, and I've been busy with other things. I hope you like it!
> 
> Tw: mean/verbally abusive parents.

Lapis slouched in her seat. She tried her best to ignore the noise from throughout the room. She lost track of where Peridot was, and started to doze off. That was until she was jolted awake numerous times by the noisy room. 

After about the fifth time being woken up, she noticed a conversation developing between the diamonds.

"-They are quite cute together. I know she will be of good service to your son."

"Yes, I suppose they are." White Diamond answered.

Lapis didn't understand how they seemed "Cute together" when they just met.

"By the way, I have informed your daughter about the changes in plan. She said that you haven't given her any information about that."

Lapis was beginning to be curious

"Oh, That. I have planned to tell her after the party, but I guess I won't have to anymore." Responded Yellow.

Blue Diamond leaned towards Yellow Diamond. "Are you sure she won't be angry with you? We don't want her to refuse to follow through. This has to be done."

Yellow Diamond scoffed. "Even if she is, she'll get over it. She can't stop the plans. This is our decision for the kingdom."

"Of course." Blue Diamond said flatly. "The change of plans will be much easier-"

"What change of plans?" Lapis blurted out.

Blue Diamond glared at Lapis. "Do not interrupt me. This does not concern you." She said in an annoyed tone. 

Lapis looked down. "Sorry. I won't do it again."

Lapis rested her chin onto her hand. She started to scan the room again. Just sitting here with no one to talk to was getting boring.

She kept inspecting each inch of the room. She eventually found Alabaster among the crowd, but not Peridot.

Shouldn't she be with him? Did something happen?

Worry spread through Lapis' mind. She sat up abruptly, and turned to the diamonds.

"I-I gotta go uh, do something real quick. I'll be right back."

"Be quick." Her mother sighed.

Lapis nodded, and quickly walked to the door. She left the room and was inside the castle halls. 

Peridot wasn't at the party, so she must be in her room. Maybe she forgot something?

Lapis knew Peridot was nervous about how this party would go. She hoped that it wasn't too much for her. She wanted to find her just in case. She had to make sure she was okay.

She raced through the empty halls, until she finally reached the door to Peridots room. She reached for the doorknob, before hearing loud sniffling.

Was she crying?

Lapis slowly opened the door just a crack, but did not look or walk in. "Peridot? Is everything okay?"

The sounds stopped. There was silence for several moments, before her voice returned.

"L-Lapis?"

Lapis pushed the door opened the rest of the way, and saw Peridot crouched to the floor. She had her hands over her mouth, and her cheeks were damp with tears.

"What happened?! Did you get hurt?"

Peridot shook her head. 

"What happened? Can you tell me?"

Peridots hands covered her face, as she started to sob again. She didn't want to break down in front of Lapis, but she couldn't help it. Lapis didn't care, she just wanted to make sure she was going to be okay.

Lapis gently rubbed others back to calm her. Peridot leaned closer to Lapis, trying to control her sobs.

"I have to leave after the wedding."

"What?"

"They're making me go home with Alabaster. I-I'm not allowed to stay here."

Lapis fell silent. Almost every negative feeling raced through her mind.

"I don't wanna do this Lapis! I don't like him, I don't like any of this I-..."

Lapis didn't know what to say. She felt like she wouldn't be able to say anything, without bursting into tears.

Lapis gasped as Peridot suddenly tossed herself into Lapis' arms. She buried her face into her shoulder.

"I don't want to leave you."

Everything was going so fast, she barely had time to react. She quickly wrapped her arms tightly around the other. Now knowing Peridot was gonna have to leave, she didn't want to ever let go. She wanted to hold her, and be surrounded in her warmth forever. 

Lapis' lip started to quiver, but she tried her best to keep her tears in. Still unsure of what to say, she brought a hand to the others head, and brushed her fingers through her soft hair. 

"M-Maybe we can figure something out." Panic was heard in her voice.

"We can't." Peridot answered. "There's nothing we can do. They aren't gonna let me stay."

Lapis kept her close. She couldn't stand seeing Peridot so upset. She would have done anything to make her smile again, but Peridot was right. There's nothing they can do about this. At least right now they couldn't do anything.

Peridot drew her head away from the others shoulder, and looked off to the side. Her face was stained with tears. Lapis brought a hand to her cheek, and used her thumb to wipe the stray tears away.

Lapis' hand brushed ever so slightly against Peridots lips. Peridot gently held the hand against her cheek. She just wanted to be close to Lapis. She didn't want to ever leave her.

The gem couldn't help but focus on how soft Peridots lips were. Her eyes sparkled in the light from the window light the light of a million stars. She was the most beautiful gem Lapis had ever seen. 

"I don't... I'm not gonna leave your side until I have to leave." Peridot shut her eyes. "I don't want to miss out on a moment with you."

"What if Alabaster doesn't want you to?"

"I don't care. I don't want to be with him. I want to be with you."

Hearing that gave Lapis a small bit of happiness.

"I want to be with you too. I-I'll cancel my lessons. I won't have any plans and we can spend as much time together as we want."

Silence fell upon the two again.

Lapis thought for a moment. "Maybe... I could come with you?"

"Your mother would never allow it. She wants you to stay here and find a husband." Peridot sighed.

"Maybe I can convince her." Lapis said. "I could tell her I want to look for marriage there."

"You don't even want to marry a prince." Peridot answered. "Besides, what if she still said no?"

Lapis thought for a second. "I could sneak out and go with you."

"Then you would be caught, forced to go home, and be punished. I don't want to get you in trouble for this."

Lapis eyes welled up. She didn't want to let this happen. She knew Peridot would be absolutely miserable. 

"I'm scared Lapis..."

"I know. I am too."

"I-I'm sorry this happened." Tears started to glisten in the corner of Peridots eyes again.

"You don't need to be sorry. The Diamonds need to be sorry."

Peridot pulled herself even closer to Lapis. Lapis leaned in, and gently brushed her lips against the gems forehead.

"It'll be okay. We can figure something out. I won't let this happen. We don't know for sure that my mother want me to stay." 

Peridot nodded. "You're right. We can't give up right now. There's still time."

They were both filled with hope that something could be done. With enough convincing, they could work something out. Even if the situation was bad, they could still do something about it, and they could do it together.

Peridot gave Lapis a smile. It filled Lapis with joy to see her smile again.

Lapis smiled back at her. As they looked at each other, that all too familiar feeling came again. The longer they knew each other, the more Lapis recognized what this feeling was, but she always denied it. She kept denying it, until it was so obvious she couldn't any longer. She definitely couldn't deny now that she wanted so badly to kiss her, to feel her closer as they embraced, to let her know everything was going to be okay, and that she would always be there for Peridot no matter what.

Lapis' impulses took over again.

"Can... Can I kiss you?"

Peridot stared at Lapis, her face heating up instantly. Lapis internally scolded herself. This wasn't the time to ask this, it's not like Peridot even felt the same, she thought.

She thought wrong, because Peridot brought her face near Lapis'. Their noses almost touching, and their lips just inches apart.

"Yes... Please."

Lapis was surprised by the answer, but didn't hesitate. She closed the gap between them, and connected their lips in a soft kiss. It was somewhat sloppy, but neither of them cared. It was perfect for both of them. Peridot wrapped her arms around the others shoulders, bringing her as close as possible, and leaving no space between them. This moment felt like forever, and they wanted it to be forever. They didn't know when or if this would happen again.

To Lapis, her lips were even softer when they were against her own. She felt like she could forget about everything, and just be surrounded in this kiss with Peridot.

Their lips eventually separated, but they still stayed just as close as they were. Their faces were flushed, and their pupils were as big as they could be. Peridot gave another genuine smile to Lapis, and she felt like she could just melt. It was as if they weren't both breaking down just a few minutes ago.

"I love you..." Peridots voice whispered against Lapis' lips.

Lapis' heart raced. Hearing those words from Peridot made her feel a happiness no one could describe.

"I love you t-"

The moment was interrupted by the sound of Yellow Diamonds voice.

"Peridot, are you in here?"

The two immediately pulled away, and stood up. The door swung open, and Yellow Diamond stepped in.

"What are you two doing in here? You're supposed to be at the party."

Peridot fumbled her fingers. "I was just talking to Lapis."

"The talking can wait. You need to be out there with Alabaster. Lapis, your mother would like you back with the court now."

"Well I don't feel very good, and was thinking maybe I could stay in and-" Peridot was interrupted.

"We've planned this for you, and I would like you to show some gratitude. Now shut your mouth, go out there, and stop making him wait."

Her voice rang through the room. Peridot quickly made her way past her mother, and out the door. Lapis watched her go. She clenched her fists in anger. Why couldn't she just listen to her daughter for once?

"Lapis, I said you need to go back." Yellow Diamond commanded.

Lapis slowly walked out of the room, and made her way back to the dance room.

Meanwhile the other found the door to the dance room, and walked in.

Peridot found Alabaster, and stood with him by the snack table. She tried her best not to zone out, while Alabaster was rambling on about pointless things. She was ready for this to be over. She just wanted to be alone.

As soon as Lapis got back, and sat with the court, reality hit her even harsher than before.

She couldn't imagine being without Peridot. She didn't want to imagine it. She didn't want it to happen either. 

Her mind drifted off to the moment she had with her. She never thought Peridot had any feelings for her, but she thought of the way she kissed her, and pulled her closer, and it felt so real.

Then she remembered, even if Peridot did really love her back, it didn't matter. She couldn't be with her. Peridot had to marry Alabaster, and Lapis had to marry someone else one day. It's what the diamonds wanted, and that's how it had to be.

Maybe, just maybe, if she did convince her mother to let her go to the White kingdom, they could have these moments together in private. They couldn't get in trouble if no one knew.

Lapis sighed. She couldn't lose hope. She couldn't fail this. If she did, it would not only break her own heart, but it would break Peridots as well. She had to keep hope alive in both of them.

She just wanted this party to be over. She needed time alone to think. She had to think of a good argument to convince her mother. If she did, then maybe she would still be with the girl who meant most to her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry if this chapter is kinda uneventful. More stuff will happen in the next chapters. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Some of this was edited by my bf so thank you Mars for helping me make my writing not as shit as it usually is.
> 
> Tw: bad parents, food mention.

Lapis was lying in her large bed. Her fingers gently toyed with the fabric of the sheets. She kept her eyes shut, but was unable to fall asleep. The past week she had trouble sleeping for multiple reasons.

A big factor in her inability to get a good night’s sleep was that her constant thought process was on what she would say to her mother. If she said the wrong thing, or messed up in any way, she would have to say goodbye to any chances of going with Peridot when she moved.

She tried to think of a way to go without having to get her mother’s permission. The only other way, would be sneaking out. That was a big no. She wasn't even allowed to step foot outside the castle grounds without permission. Once she got there, White Diamond would surely force her home. It was a bad idea, so she had no other choice but to speak to her mother.

She just hoped that her mother wouldn't be suspicious. Who knows how she would react if she found out about any of Lapis' feelings.

She didn't want to think of that. She just wanted to think of what would happen if this plan was successful, but she still couldn't shake the constant dread that constantly loomed over her. 

She grunted. Maybe if she wasn't a part of this strict royal family, this would be easier to do. Lapis knew most others would do anything for this lifestyle, but it wasn't fun for Lapis. It's not fun when she has to ask permission for every little thing, it's not fun that she can barely feel happy with her excuse of a mother, it's not fun at all when she constantly feels trapped, it's not fun when she’s a daughter of a diamond.

She couldn't lie, she didn't like her mother. When she was younger, she just thought it was normal. It wasn't normal at all, she soon realized, She saw young children spending time with their mothers, being read stories, be given motherly advice. Being shown parental love that Lapis never got from her mother. All she got was stupid rules and schedules. The only time her mother even bothered to speak to her, was when she wanted something. Instead, she got her Pearl to be a mother for her. Lapis appreciated that Blue Pearl cared for her, but was angry that she even had to. It should have been her mother’s job! She held a large grudge against her mother, because of they way she had been treated.

She flipped herself over onto her side and hugged a pillow. The softness of the pillow reminded her of how soft Peridot felt in her arms.

Her mind shifted to the thought of Peridot. Luckily, the past week didn't have much planned, so they had time to spend together- except for today. Peridot had to do things with Alabaster today.

She didn't know much about him, but from what she's seen, he seemed quite rude, disrespectful, and snooty. Let's just say, Lapis was not too fond of him. She was still in disbelief of the recent events. Not the moving plans, though that was pretty awful and unbelievable in itself, but how her and Peridot have been spending time together. Nothing much changed, except for frequent soft, and loving kisses. Ever since that night, they've been closer than ever. They would keep pulling each other closer, until there was no space in between them. Neither of them questioned it. They just knew it was right. Even if they had to keep quiet about it all, they still appreciated these moments. 

Lapis was thinking about the two of them. The two of them together. Were they together in that way? Lapis was shy to ask. She didn't think that the other gem would ever feel anything other than strong friendship for her. Lapis didn't think very highly of herself, and she assumed there was nothing about her that anyone would like. he was wrong, though. Peridot loved every bit of her. 

Everything was happening so fast. Just a week ago, Lapis didn't even think about being open with her feelings. She didn't think any of this would happen. She didn't think she would be holding Peridot how she is now. Or telling her how much she really loved her. She was just worried she was moving to fast. She didn't want to overwhelm Peridot. Peridot didn't mind at all. Neither of them knew if their moments together would be limited.

Though Lapis was in disbelief, it was the way Peridot hugged her that made her know it was real. The way she placed gentle kisses on her cheek, the way she brushed her lips against the other’s, the way she touched her in the softest way, and the way she whispered "I love you"s as they were around each other in private.

Lapis tried her best to stay positive. If this worked out, this wouldn't have to end! She could still be with Peridot the way they both wanted to, as long as they kept quiet about it.

Though, Peridot still had to marry Alabaster. Lapis tried not to think too much about that.  
She just wanted nothing more than to be close to her. She just wanted to know that this would all be alright.

Just then, there was a knock on her bedroom door. 

"Come in,” she called.

Blue Pearl opened the door. She peeked from behind. "You didn't eat any dinner. Are you okay, princess?"

"Could be better," Lapis mumbled.

Blue Pearl walked in, set a tray down on the table, and took a seat at the end of her bed. "Would talking help?"

Lapis sat up, and sighed. "I don't even know."

"I'm here. At least until your mother needs me."

Lapis thought about her words before speaking. She wasn't sure if coming to her about this would be a good idea, but Pearl told her she could tell her anything, and that it would only be between them. Blue Pearl never broke that promise. As long as she didn't mention Peridot, she shouldn't break that promise. She knew she wouldn't tell anyone anything personal, but she didn't want to risk it. Not when being secretive was so crucial. 

"What do you do... when you really like someone, but you might not be able to be together?"

"Oh," Blue Pearl answered. "I am unsure, but I do believe staying positive, and fighting hard for who you love is the best way. If you really love someone, then you won't stop at anything to be with them."

"I guess," Lapis responded.

"May I ask who this person may be?" Blue Pearl asked, winking.

"I... would rather not say right now."

"That's okay."

There was some silence before Pearl spoke again.

"Well, I would like you to eat. I brought you a light meal. You don't have to eat it right now, but at least eat it soon."

Lapis nodded. "I will. Thank you."

Blue pearl smiled at the other, and clasped her hands together. "Is there anything else I could do for you, princess?"

"No, thank you," Lapis smiled back.

After those words, Blue Pearl turned around, and left the room. Lapis looked at the tray. Set upon it was a small bowl of warm soup. She grabbed the large spoon, and tried to eat at least some of the soup.

Pearls words uplifted her, but only a little bit. She still couldn't shake the fear of failure away.

Hopefully, she would be able to spend time with Peridot tomorrow. She wanted to talk to her about what she should say to her mother. She wanted to do it soon, preferably this weekend. 

She kept eating the soup until she couldn't any more. After deciding she ate a good amount, she set the tray aside, and went to bed.

Meanwhile, Peridot stumbled into her room. She was fatigued by the day. Having to be in the same room as Alabaster was enough to drain her energy for a month,

She slipped off her dress so she could put a nightgown on. She just wanted the day to be over. She hoped her mother wouldn't make any last minute plans with Alabaster tomorrow. She was supposed to see Lapis.

She pulled the nightgown over her head and sat on her bed. 

She couldn't get her mind off Lapis. She couldn't get her mind off of the new plans. 

This couldn't fail. Though Peridot would be happy if they did work this out, and Lapis could come with her, she wanted things to be different. She didn't want to have to be with Alabaster at all. She didn't want to have to keep quiet about Lapis. She wanted to be with just Lapis. It didn't matter where they were, as long as she could be with Lapis. They were best friends, but they were also much more than that. They were in love.

The only way she could do this was if they were to run away, but that was near impossible.

Worry went through her. She worried they were going through all this, just to go through heartbreak if the plans didn't work.

Lapis was the only one she had. She was one of the few people she truly cared about, and the only one who she felt this way with. If she wasn't able to be with her the way she truly wanted to, she didn't know what she would do.

It was hard for her to stay optimistic. The move had to happen. Her mother wouldn't allow her to do anything else. Even if she begged and pleaded to stay and be with Lapis, her mother wouldn't care. Just like always, because her mother was an asshole.

Peridot felt bad for not being able to see Lapis today. They were supposed to meet, but Alabaster caught her off guard, and wasted her entire day with pointless things.

She sighed. She couldn't imagine having to be with him every second of the day. She felt awful around him. She knew he didn't actually care about her, he just wanted to do whatever will make the kingdom powerful. She felt like she was being used and that nothing about her mattered.

With Lapis on the other hand, she felt loved. She felt like as long as she was with Lapis, she could do anything she wanted to do. Just Lapis' touch alone was enough to brighten up her mood.

She blushed at the thought of Lapis. The thought of how she held her and kissed her in the most gentle loving way. In a way she knew she would never get with Alabaster.

It was strange. Not too long ago, she was convinced Lapis wouldn't want anything to do with her in that way, but now they had been even more affectionate as if they've been in love for years. Which they have, but neither of them knew about the other’s feelings until now.

Peridot wished she could enjoy these feelings without so much going on. She wanted to enjoy time with Lapis, without Alabaster, her mother, or the other diamonds having to be part of it.

She was incredibly stressed. The only time she felt better was when she was with Lapis. Being with Lapis made her forget all the troubles she had. Being alone just made her thoughts go haywire.

She just had to sleep it off, like she's always had to. She couldn't talk to Lapis until tomorrow. Once they would see each other, it'll be time for serious planning.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. Sorry it's been taking longer to post chapters. I just wanna make sure they're all good enough to post. I'm also not very confident in my writing so it can be hard to work up the courage to post my stuff.
> 
> Please let me know if there's any mistakes!
> 
> Warnings: Slight nsfw at the end. Not too explicit, but still nsfw.

Lapis leaned outside her bedroom window. Her eyes scanned the ground, until she saw Peridot. She eagerly waved to the other, who waved back enthusiastically. 

It was late at night. Peridots schedule recently became booked, meaning once she was done at the end of the day, she had to sneak out to see Lapis. Her mother didn't want her out of her  
room so late.

Peridot uncovered a sturdy rope ladder, that hung from Lapis' bedroom window. Lapis found it in the supply room, and took it when no one was looking. They had covered the ladder in the overgrown vines on the castle wall. This was to make sure the guards wouldn't notice. Luckily, no one even went by that area much. Most of the guards stayed inside the castle, which was why it was too risky to sneak in from the inside.

Lapis tried her best to hold the ladder in place. They had done this for the past couple of nights, and have yet to be caught. They would have several hours alone, and once it was morning, Peridot would go back to her room before her mother would wake. If she didn't make her way back in time, she made sure Yellow Pearl would cover for her. This isn't the first time she's had to sneak out, so Pearl has had to cover for her already. It was a good thing her lies were so believable. 

Peridot finally made her way up, and Lapis helped her through the window. They greeted each other with a tight hug, before Peridot planted a kiss on the others cheek. 

Lapis had her arms around the other’s waist. She held her close, and didn't want to ever stop holding her. She loved how warm and soft Peridot felt against her, and she didn't want it to ever stop.

Peridot tangled her fingers into the others hair, and smiled before giving her another kiss. 

Once they pulled away, they both found seats on the edge of the bed. 

Lapis spoke in a hushed voice, as to not catch the attention of anyone else in the castle. "I don't know what I'm going to say, but I'm asking my mother tomorrow. Time is running short."

"Are you sure it's a good idea to tell her then?"

"I don't know, but I can't keep waiting."

"I wanna be there when you do," Peridot responded. "Maybe I can help convince her to let you come."

Peridot suddenly remembered what she needed to tell Lapis. "Oh! I almost forgot," She inched closer to Lapis. "Tomorrow, me and Alabaster are having dinner together, but I was able to get   
permission to invite someone. Do you have the free time tomorrow to join us?"

"I don't think I do. At least I don't have anything I can't postpone," Lapis said with a smile. She was going to snatch any chance to spend more time with Peridot.

"It'll be like a date," Peridot said. "Except you know, Alabaster’s gonna be butting in,” She then groaned.

Lapis snickered. "Let's just start making out right there. The look on his face would be priceless."

Peridot laughed as well. "Or he'll just say, 'wow, what a beautiful friendship.'"

They both giggled together. They were both glad they could be so open about their feelings now. If only they could be open to everyone else.

They both struggled to keep their laughs quiet. They finally got their laughter under control, before Peridot spoke again.

"I don't think I've said this yet, but... I'm really thankful for what you've done for me. You know like, being there and stuff. I don't know what I would be doing without you."

Lapis looked down at the other. "You've been there for me too, and I thank you for that as well."

Peridot sighed, and rested her head on Lapis' shoulder.

"Do you think we'll have to resort to running away?"

Lapis sighed as well. "I don't think we can resort to that. We wouldn't be able to run five feet away from the door. We would be caught if we just left like that."

There was a brief silence.

"Maybe I should just stop talking about it," Peridot scooted even closer, as Lapis wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I know it's a big thing, but I don't want our time together to be spent doing nothing but worrying."

"You're right," Lapis responded. "What do you wanna do while you're here?"

"Well, other than be with you, I don’t really care, as long as we do something entertaining."

Lapis blushed. "Well, I have some extra easels to paint. Or we could read some books since I got new ones. Oh, and we could play some of the games left in my closet."

Peridot smiled. "Remember when you were little, and you used to call your art 'Meep morp'"

Lapis giggled. "We don't talk about that, it's embarrassing."

Peridot came behind Lapis, and wrapped her arms around her. "I thought it was cute!"

"I'm not cute."

"Yes you are," Peridot retorted. "Don't lie to me."

"You're the cute one," Lapis answered.

"I'm not supposed to be cute, I'm supposed to be intimidating."

"As intimidating as a slice of pie."

"Rude! I’ll have you know, that many people find me very intimidating!" 

Lapis giggled. Peridots face flushed, and she buried her face in the others shoulder.

____________________________________________________________________________

The two spent the past couple of hours doing their usual activities, and chatting. They both eventually started to grow tired, as it was very late in the night.

"You look sleepy," said Lapis.

"Yeah, but I don't wanna go yet. I still have a couple hours left to stay, before I have to sneak back."

Lapis hopped onto the bed. "At least come lay down. I want you to get a little bit of rest."

Peridot groaned. "Fine." She made her way to the bed, and plopped into Lapis' arms. "Only if you rest with me."

"Of course." Lapis answered, while planting a kiss on her forehead. "I love you."

Hearing those words made Peridot's heart leap. She cuddled the other closer, and brought her face up to Lapis'. "I love you too, a lot."

Peridot then initiated a gentle kiss. Lapis kissed her back eagerly, while Peridot brought her arms around her shoulders.

They both smiled into the kiss. A blissful silence took over, and the only sound left was the girls gentle breathing. 

They then broke the kiss, and Peridot brought her head down to Lapis' shoulder as to rest it there, but instead started to place her lips to her neck. Lapis shivered with delight, and only held her tighter.

Peridot kept placing soft kisses against the side of her neck. Lapis brought her hands to the others hair, and twirled it gently. They both forgot about everything else, and only stayed in this   
moment.

That was until Lapis felt a sudden pain, where the other was kissing.

"Ow! What was that for?" Lapis rubbed the area where Peridot had bit her.

Peridot giggled. "Sorry."

"Oh, you'll be sorry." Lapis grinned, and flipped the two of them over, so that she was now hovering over Peridot.

Peridot kept herself from making a loud, surprised noise. After they were flipped over, she started to laugh, and she pulled Lapis into another kiss.

This kiss was slightly shorter than the others. Lapis pulled away, and started kissing trails down the other’s neck. She eventually reached her shoulder, and sunk her teeth down on the skin there.

"Aah!" Peridot exclaimed. "You bit harder, that’s unfair!"

Lapis let out a giggle, and continued to lightly kiss and bite her neck and shoulders.

Peridot wrapped her limbs around the other, and tangled her fingers into Lapis' hair.

Lapis kept kissing and nibbling, until she pushed her knee in between the other’s leg, causing a moan to escape Peridots lips.

Lapis ceased her actions, and pulled away slightly. She looked down at the girl under her, who's hair was a mess, and her face was completely covered in a teal blush. She also noticed that she had pulled down Peridots dress, almost pulling it off her chest. 

Lapis blushed, and looked back into Peridots eyes. 

"I-Is this okay with you? I can stop if you want."

Peridot looked at her with lidded eyes, and a goofy grin on her face. 

"Mhm. As long as you're okay with it as well."

Lapis smiled back. "Alright. Just making sure." 

She leaned in for another deep, passionate kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> tw - bad parents again

Lapis awoke with the morning light shining onto her sheets. She looked down at the girl sleeping soundly, and snug in her arms. Peridot had her head rested against Lapis' shoulder, and her legs   
were intertwined with the other's. Nothing but the sheets covering their bare skin.

Lapis had one arm around Peridots waist, and a hand tangled in her messy hair. She carefully placed a kiss on Peridots gem, being careful not to wake her. Being with her in this moment made her forget about everything else around her. She held Peridot close to her, and noted how cute she looked when she was sleeping.

Lapis laid there for a few more minutes, before Peridots eyes opened. She looked up at Lapis, smiled sleepily, and buried her face into the other's shoulder.

"Good morning." Lapis said in a hushed voice.

"Morning." Peridot responded in a tone just as hushed.

Peridot planted sweet kisses against her neck. 

Lapis moved a little, so she was hovering over Peridot. She placed a hand on her cheek, and Peridot held that hand gently with her own. 

Peridot pulled Lapis closer, and connected their lips into a somewhat sloppy kiss. They kept each other close during the embrace. They both smiled into the kiss, until Lapis pulled away momentarily.  
They both exchanged sweet "I love you's", before pulling each other closer to connect their lips again.

Lapis continued the kiss, as her hands traveled down Peridots sides. 

There was the sudden sound of someone's voice booming from down the hall. Lapis jolted up, and realized it was her mother. She looked up at the clock, seeing that it was very late in the morning.

Panic spread through both of them, as they both hopped out of bed. 

"Grab your dress and hide in my closet, hurry!" Lapis whispered.

Peridot scooped her dress from the floor, and hurried into the closet, before closing the doors. Lapis wrapped her blankets around her body, and laid back down. Not long after, her mother walked through the door. 

"Why haven't you woken up yet?" Blue Diamond harshly asked. 

"I-I slept in. I'm sorry." Lapis answered. 

"That is not a good excuse." Her mother sighed. "I've been meaning to talk to you."

"About what?"

Blue Diamond sat at the edge of Lapis' bed. "I know you may be upset about the plans, but we knew it would happen eventually. It's not like you won't find new friends in the future, and once she leaves, we can really focus on getting you married. I already have a few men in mind."

Lapis faked a smile. "Great." 

It was not great. It was not even remotely good at all.

"It's best to get you married as soon as possible." Blue Diamond said. "I hope you'll be a great service to your future husband."

Peridot listened in on the conversation. She clenched her fist as she heard Blue Diamonds words. Hearing this made her emotions filled with jealousy. The last thing she wanted, was to lose Lapis to some guy she doesn't even want to be with. Lapis didn't need to be of service to anyone. Neither of them needed to be of service to their husbands. They were their own people, and deserved to have some freedom.

Something had caught Blue Diamonds eyes. She leaned over, and grabbed a pair of green, tinted glasses off of the table by the bed.

"Aren't these Peridots glasses?"

Shit.

"Oh, she must have left those here last time she was over." Lapis lied through her teeth. "I'll give them back to her today."

Blue Diamond sat up. "No need, Pearl will bring them back." She made her way back to the door. "Get ready, you can't be in bed all day. If you sleep in again, You won't get breakfast." She  
said, before finally leaving.

Lapis waited until she knew she was gone, and got up to open the closet doors. 

Peridot emerged, and started to slip her dress back on.

"Are you okay?" Peridot asked worriedly.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

"I need to go, my mother is gonna be pissed." Peridot said, once she got dressed.

"I'm sorry." Lapis said quietly.

"For what?"

"Almost getting us caught. I should have realized how late it was."

Peridot grabbed Lapis' hand. "It's not your fault. Neither of us realized it was so late."

Lapis frowned, and pulled her into a hug. Peridot hugged her back tightly, before giving her a kiss, and climbing out the window with the ladder.

She watched her hurry back, and waved. Once she was out of sight, she closed the window, and started to get ready for the day. She fixed her hair, slipped her clothes on, and walked out into the halls.

Meanwhile, Peridot ran back to her room, making sure to avoid her mother. Luckily, she made it to her room in time. She opened the door, and was surprised to see Yellow Pearl, frantically walking up and down the room.

She watched her come in, and crossed her arms. "Where have you been?! Your mother is looking for you, and she is not happy. You could have been caught this time!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry!" Peridot exclaimed. "I-I didn't realize how late it was. I thought I could come back before she woke up."

"Well you didn't," Yellow Pearl sighed. "You look like a mess, what were you doing?"

Peridot tried and failed to keep her face from heating up. "Sleeping."

Yellow Pearl brought her hand to he bridge of her nose. "Whatever, I'm just glad nothing bad happened while you were out. I don't know how we'll explain this to your mother, though."

"I-I'll take care of it. It's my fault, I should be the one to try to fix this."

She nodded in response. "Alright. Get cleaned up, I'll go tell Yellow Diamond that you're here."

Peridot turned around, and reached for her closet, to find a clean dress. 

She put on the new clothes, and walked towards the mirror. She squinted at her reflection, as she tried to fix herself up, so she looked less like she was just in bed with someone.

The door opened, causing Peridot to tense up. She couldn't lie, her mother did scare her quite a bit.

"Care to explain where you were?"

Peridot couldn't tell the truth. That would just get Lapis in trouble as well. "I was reading in the library. I must've fallen back asleep in there."

Yellow Diamond rolled her eyes. "So you sneaked out just to read a silly book?"

Peridot didn't look at her mother, and pretended to be busy with other things. "It was morning."

"You still left without informing me."

"I'm an adult, Shouldn't I be allowed to leave when I want to?"

"If you're an adult, then you need stop acting like a child." 

Yellow started to step out of the door, before speaking again. "Don't make me station one of my guards by your room again. Today, you will be cleaning the kitchen after dinner as punishment."

Peridot kept her mouth shut, until her mother was gone. Once she was sure she was alone, she groaned loudly, and slammed herself down onto her bed.

All she wanted, was just a little bit of time to do what she wanted. She was tired of the schedules, and she was tired of having to get permission for every little thing. She just wanted to live her life, and for her mother to stay out of it.

Peridot had only settled down for a few seconds, before Yellow Pearl knocked on the door. "Princess, it's time for your lessons."

"Coming..." Peridot grumbled, before sitting up, and making her way to the door.

She made her way down the halls, as her mind drifted to the events of last night. She tried to not focus on it, but all she could think about was Lapis. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of this,  
but that was all that was on her mind, up until dinner.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here again. I have no clue how to write proper dialogue i'm so sorry.
> 
> tw: abuse, violence, blood mention.

The light taps of Lapis' steps echoed throughout the hall. She was looking forward to this occasion, but obviously, she would have much preferred if it was just her and Peridot. Though she didn't want to complain too much. She either had to have dinner with her and Alabaster, or not see Peridot at all that night. She doubted that they would be able to risk sneaking out again tonight.

As soon as Lapis entered the dining room, she saw that Peridot had not arrived yet. She must have been a bit early, as Yellow Pearl was still setting the food onto the table.

Lapis gave her a quick greeting, and sat down at one of the many seats.

She tapped her fingers against the table cloth, and fiddled with some silverware. It wasn't until 10 minutes later when the two arrived.

Alabaster walked through the door, linked arms with Peridot, Who seemed quite uncomfortable and annoyed. He seemed to be blabbing on about unimportant things. He sat down and kept talking, not even noticing the other girl at the table. That was until Peridot found the time to speak, and pointed out that she was there as well.

"Oh... Hello" He said to her.

Lapis waved back nervously. 

"Where are your maids? I need my drink poured, and my food set onto my plate. In my castle, we don't let our Pearls wander around aimlessly there."

Peridot nodded, though not really agreeing. She then continued to grab some portions of food.

"That's a little much, don't you think?" Alabaster commented.

Peridot muttered an apology, and stopped to settle with the small amount that she had. This ticked Lapis off quite a bit. He really didn't have to control her entire life. That's not what a   
relationship was about.

"Now, As I was saying." Alabaster continued, as he chewed his food noisily. "Your Diamonds don't know how to take care of the situation. I say we find them, and slaughter them all right then. No questions asked."

Lapis gave him a confused look. 

"He's talking about the rebel situation." Peridot elucidated.

"I wasn't finished." Said Alabaster, after noisily clearing his throat. "It can't be that hard to find them. They have nowhere to go."

He continued on about the matter. Lapis wasn't sure why this was such a concern to him. Lapis always knew about the rebellion since she was little, though she didn’t have much knowledge on it. All she knew, is that they called themselves "The crystal gems", and that they didn't like the Diamonds very much. Lapis could understand why.   
Lapis remembered a young woman she knew when she was younger. She worked at the castle for her mother, but one day just disappeared. She heard rumors that she ran away and joined the rebellion with a ruby guard, though she didn't know if it was even true.

Either way, she never thought the rebellion was that big of a problem. Likely because her mother never told her anything about it, but the diamonds had a strong army. The rebellion was said to be small and weak. There was no way they could defeat three diamond kingdoms.

Lapis wanted to carry a conversation, but she couldn't seem to get a word in. Neither could Peridot. They just silently ate their meals, as Alabaster kept speaking.

Lapis started to zone out. That was until she heard her name brought up in the conversation.

"Don't you agree, Lapis?"

"Oh! Yes I do." She answered, not having a clue what was going on.

"I could run all three of these kingdoms by myself. Maybe I can, now that I have a wife."

Lapis gritted her teeth, and forced a smile. "Well, you aren't married yet."

"It'll happen inevitably." He answered. "It'll be great for the kingdom, and for me."

"What about Peridot?" Lapis asked.

"What about her?"

"What will this do for her? I would like to make sure she is happy as well."

Alabaster sighed. "Why do you care? It's not like you have anything to do with this arrangement. So stay out of it. Having the luxury of being my wife should be plenty enough for her. ."

There was some awkward silence, before Peridot spoke.

"Maybe after we move, we will see some exciting places. I would like to see what there is beyond the castles."

"I would prefer you stay at the castle, and tend to our home." Said Alabaster.

"O-Of course." Peridot answered. 

Lapis gripped the table. She wanted to have a pleasant evening with Peridot, but Alabaster was ruining it with every word that came out of his mouth.

Alabaster seemed to finally be finished talking. She decided to try to speak to Peridot, and hope that they wouldn't be interrupted.

"I've been thinking about displaying my paintings in the castle. That is, if my mother will let me."

Peridot turned to Lapis, finally seeming interested in the conversation. "Oh really? I think that would be great!"

They decided to chat about their own interests and stories for a while. Until Alabaster finished his food, and sat up.

"You two are a bit chatty for my taste. Anyways, It's time for us to go. Come on."

Peridot turned to Alabaster. "Oh, uh, I'm not done talking with Lapis. Can I stay?"

"Absolutely not. I said we have to go, so we go."

Peridot looked down. "I-It's just I don't see her much and-"

She was suddenly interrupted, as Alabaster yanked at her arm, and pulled her out of her seat, making her fall over. 

“Oops.” He said, a smirk appearing on his face.

"Hey! What was that for?" Lapis exclaimed, as she stood from her chair.

"Do not get an attitude with me, princess."

Lapis helped Peridot back up, and glared back at Alabaster.

"It's fine Lapis, it-"

Lapis pulled Peridot closer. "It's not fine! Y-You didn't even do anything and-"

Alabaster then pulled them apart. "You are not her husband, I am, don't tell me how to handle her."

"Handle her?" 

Lapis clenched her fists. It wasn't the best idea to lash out at him, but she couldn't control her anger. Especially not when he spoke about her like this.

"Please don't yell at her! She was just worried." Peridot pleaded. "I don't want to get her in trouble."

Alabaster kept a harsh grip on the gems arm. "I will not take this blatant disrespect from her!"

Peridot tried to pull her arm away, with no avail. "Let's just go please. We can forget all about this."

"Don't side with her, Peridot. You're supposed to be on my side. All the time, no matter what." He stated.

"What if I don't want to?" 

"Excuse me?" He said in an offended tone.

"Not everything is about you! Not everything is about me serving you! I don't want my whole life to revolve around you, you selfish little prick!"

Lapis gasped. If they weren't in the situation they were in now, she would be applauding her for standing up to him like this.

Alabaster looked shocked at the sudden outburst, then that turned into a terrifying expression of anger. Peridot quickly shut her mouth, and flinched, as Alabaster pushed her closer to the wall,   
and raised his hand.

Lapis froze as soon as he moved. Fear spread through her. Not for herself, but for Peridot. How many times has he done things like this without anyone knowing? What if he's done something worse? Judging on the way Peridot flinched, it seemed like he had. 

She couldn't just stand there and let this happen. She couldn't.

Without a second thought, she stepped forward, and swung her fist as hard as she could, hitting Alabaster square in the face. She kept swinging, doing whatever it took to keep him away from Peridot.

Peridot could only stand and watch, until Lapis finally pulled back once Alabaster fell to the floor.

The doors swung open. Blue and Yellow Diamond, as well as their Pearls, entered the room.

"What is with this noise- What happened? What did you do?!" Blue Diamond gasped. The three were all stared down with shocked, and angry looks.

Lapis stepped back, looking down at her hands, then at Alabaster. Her hands started to tremble, and tears started to flow. She couldn't stop them. What she did would get her the worst kind of   
punishment. She could say goodbye to seeing Peridot ever again because of this.

She put her face in her hands, and sobbed loudly. Peridot quickly walked to her.

"No no no! Please don't cry, It's not your fault!" Peridot said, as she pulled her into a hug.

Blue Diamond grabbed ahold of Lapis, and pulled her away from Peridot. She demanded she stop crying, but Lapis couldn’t even manage words through her cries.

"S-She attacked me!" Alabaster stood up, pointing at Lapis. He held his hand to his face, trying to hide what was obviously some blood.

Peridot turned to the Diamonds. "You don't understand! H-He-"

"I understand perfectly. Lapis needs to be away from you two, and punished. She has to pay for acting out like this, and you should apologize for trying to defend her!"

Blue Diamond ordered Blue Pearl to help Alabaster out of the room, and to a nurse. The first few punches did enough damage to need medical attention.

"Come, you need to be with your husband."

Peridot gripped the skirt of her dress. She didn't care anymore. She wanted to tell them right to their faces about how she felt about everything. She couldn't keep quiet about this any longer.

"I don't want to! I want to be with Lapis!"

"Lapis has injured your husband, and disrespected the white kingdom by doing so. You will come with me immediately, and stop disobeying me!" Yellow shouted.

Peridot couldn’t stand hearing him be called her husband. Even if they got married right this second, she would never consider him her husband.

Yellow Pearl cleared her throat. “My diamond, maybe we should listen-”

“I will not listen to her, when she’s disrespecting me like this.”

Yellow Pearl stepped back nervously, not wanting to aggravate the diamonds more than they already were.

“He tried to hit me! If it weren’t for Lapis, I would have been hurt! You should be thanking her!” Peridot continued to yell.

“Your temper is giving a good reason for him to want to put you in your place. He is your husband, and you will listen to him. You will not yell at or disrespect him, or any members of the white court.”

"He's not my husband, and I won't go! I don't want anything to do with him!”

“Why is that?” Questioned Yellow.

“Because I love Lapis!” Peridot blurted out without thinking. “I love her, I want to be with her, and I won’t let you keep me away from her!”

Blue Diamond brought a hand to her mouth, and looked at the other. Yellow growled, but did not seem surprised. She then called for assistance. Two large quartz guards walked into the room.

"Take these two to their rooms immediately. Do not let them leave, no matter what."

One dragged Lapis away, and the other grabbed Peridot by the arms and carried her out of the room.

Peridot tried to kick her legs back to escape. “Let go of me! Let go!”

All she could do was kick and scream. The guard did not loosen their grip on the gem. They arrived to the bedroom door, and they tossed Peridot in. Peridot ran to the door, but was met with a slam before she could exit. 

She pounded her fists on the door, and tried to pull it open with all her might. The guard held the door tight, as they put a lock on it. 

Peridot kept slamming her fists against the door until she was too tired to continue. She slid down to the ground, and started to cry. 

“...Please.”

Even if she could manage to break the door open, there would still be a guard outside. One that was much stronger than her, and would not let her leave on the Diamonds orders. It was hopeless. Every chance of her still being with Lapis, even in secret, was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I was on vacation for a while. 
> 
> tw: abuse mention, food mention, bruises.
> 
> Also, I wouldn't be entirely opposed to writing a joke fic about Lapis punting Alabaster into the sun.

The room had never been this empty, or depressing.   
Lapis laid in the same bed she had been in for the past few days. The room was almost completely empty. Since the incident, causing Lapis to be locked in her room, most of her belongings were taken out of the area. This gave her nothing to do, though she didn’t want to do anything. She barely had the energy to get out from under the covers.

The main thought soaring through her head was self blame. Sure, she blamed those who were actually to blame, but she felt the biggest blame should be placed on herself.

She blamed herself for all this, and refused to forgive herself for getting Peridot in all this trouble. Though it wasn’t her who got her in trouble, Lapis sure thought so.

She also longed to see Peridot. She would have done anything, if it meant to see Peridot and make sure she was alright.

All she could do was crave her touch, crave the happiness she felt when she saw the girl genuinely smile or laugh, and long for the conversations that made them feel so safe together.

She didn’t feel like she deserved her. Peridot was everything. She’s the most amazing girl anyone could have the pleasure of knowing. Lapis would never be able to describe the immense affection she felt for her. Though it was near impossible for Lapis to think good of herself. For as long as she remembered, she’s always hated herself. 

Because Lapis thought this was all her fault, she felt the worst she’s ever felt. She thought she hurt Peridot, and she would never forgive herself if she ever hurt her.

There was no chance of her escaping. Yes, there was the rope ladder outside the window, but if she did climb down, she would surely be caught. She assumed they found it and took it down, anyways.

The door was strong and sturdy. She would never be able to break it down. Blue pearl did enter her room to give her meals, but it’s not like she could just run out. Not with a guard right down the hallway.

The only gem, out of the ones allowed in her room, who even bothered to talk to her was Blue Pearl. Blue Pearl tried to talk to her, maybe make her feel better somehow, but Lapis couldn’t bring herself to talk. She assumed Pearl was just as dissappointed in her as everyone else. 

Doing nothing was all Lapis could do. She could barely get herself to eat the food that was brought to her. She saw no reason to try to take care of herself, either.

She couldn’t even look forward to the day she could leave her room. Her mother will only let her leave once she’s found a suitable partner. Then she’ll send her off to marry some man she barely knows.

There was a sudden knock on the door. The only person who ever bothered to knock in this castle was Blue Pearl, so Lapis mumbled for her to come in.

Blue Pearl walked in with a tray of food. She set the tray down, and stood by Lapis’ bed. She smiled, in hopes to brighten Lapis’ mood, but that obviously didn’t work.

“How was your day, princess?”

Lapis didn’t speak.

Blue Pearl fiddled her fingers. “If you’d like to talk to me, you can.”

Lapis only weakly nodded.

“When was the last time you changed your clothes? Or cleaned yourself?”

Lapis could only shrug in response. She didn’t care.

Blue Pearl sighed. “Here, sit up. At least let me brush your hair, it’s a mess. Then after that, I want you to clean up and find a change of clothes.”

Lapis sat at the edge of the bed. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror that was attached to a now empty desk. She really did look like a mess. Her hair was all over the place. There were noticeable bruises on her arms from the guards and her mother, and she looked like she had never had a second of sleep.

Blue Pearl grabbed a hairbrush from said dresser, and began to untangle the knots in Lapis’ hair. 

“I haven’t had to brush your hair for you since you were little. I know this is a hard time, but I still want you to take care of yourself.”

Lapis still said nothing.

“I care about you Lapis, and I care about Peridot too. I do wish it didn’t have to turn out like this. I want to be there for both of you in any way I can. I understand what you’re going through.”

Lapis kept her mouth shut. She felt her throat get tight, feeling like she could burst into tears at any time. She didn’t want to cry. She was never told it was okay to cry.

“I just hope that Peridot is doing okay too. I know Yellow Pearl will make sure to take good care of her.”

Lapis couldn’t stop the tears. A loud sob escaped her throat, as she shoved her face into her hands. Blue Pearl pulled her into a hug, as Lapis’ tears uncontrollably flowed.

“I’m stupid. I’m so stupid for ever thinking this would work out!”

“You aren’t stupid.” Blue Pearl said.

“I am! It’s my fault! It’s my fault Peridot is being punished a-and-”

“It’s not your fault. Don’t think for a second that what they do to you is your fault.”

Lapis wiped the tears from her face. “I acted out though.”

“You were only trying to protect her. You did what was right, and you two shouldn’t have been punished.”

Lapis never thought there would be anyone in the castle, that was on her and Peridots side.

“I always cause trouble. I ruin everything. I even ruin my own happiness.”

Blue Pearl kept hugging her tight. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“I want her… I want to be with her.”

“I know you do,” Blue Pearl said. “I know it may not seem like it, but it’ll get better with time. Things will work out.”

Lapis shook her head. “I’m not so sure of that.”

“That’s why you have to give it time.”

Blue Pearl stood from the bed, once Lapis pulled away. She grabbed a clean nightgown, and set it on the bed.

“Promise me you will get cleaned, and eat your dinner?”

Lapis sighed, wiping her tear soaked face. “F-Fine. I promise.”

Blue Pearl smiled, and walked towards the door. “Thank you. Now I have to go, I’ll be back to collect your tray when you’re done eating.”

Lapis nodded, and watched as the other left. Even with her reassuring words, Lapis still felt like complete garbage, and had no hope for the future. 

She made her way to the bathroom, and tried to clean herself as best she could. After that was done, she slipped the nightgown on. It felt nice to finally have clean clothes on, but even after that, she still felt like garbage.

She sat back down in her bed, and ate as much as the food off the tray as she could. All that went through her mind was what Peridot could be going through right now.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. School is kicking my ass.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

Peridot, alike Lapis, could only sit in her room. Rain tapped violently against the window, as she sat alone. Visits were only allowed by her mother, and Yellow Pearl. The only person she wanted to see, was the one who was definitely not allowed in.

At this point, she didn’t care. She didn’t care about her mother, or the throne. She wanted Lapis. She wanted nothing more than to have a life with Lapis. Instead, she was left to cry in an empty room, aching and wishing for someone to help her out of here.

She didn’t want to give up, but at this point, it seemed that was all she could do. 

She couldn’t accept the thought of never seeing Lapis again. Just the thought alone could bring her to tears. 

She was a mess. Nothing could be done about it. Her mother didn’t care. Her mother never cared. Yellow Pearl could only do so much before being called for other duties. Her reassuring words didn’t help. All she wanted to hear was Lapis’ voice. She just wanted Lapis.

The wedding date was coming so fast, but she didn’t even realize it. Everything became such a blur.

She sat at her now empty desk. The only thing to do was to sit and fidget her fingers. She wanted this to be a bad dream, that she would wake from any moment. This was all real, and she hated it.

The door opened, and someone stepped in. Peridot turned, assuming her mother came in for another lecture, but only Yellow Pearl stepped inside.

Peridot stared at the other, waiting for her to speak. 

The other seemed nervous. Her posture was slightly slouched, and she carried a bag slung over her shoulder. If Peridot wasn’t feeling so awful, she would have questioned why she had the bag in the first place.

Yellow Pearl tried to visit her several times a day, but never this late. Once Yellow Diamond went to sleep, Yellow Pearl had to finish her duties, and go right to bed. Why was she coming here so late?

Peridot worried that she was in more trouble than she already was. 

Yellow Pearl stepped behind the door, and carefully pushed it closed. She took the bag off her shoulder, and held it in her hands. She stood silent, and kept glancing back at the door, as if she was expecting someone to burst in any moment.

“What are yo-” Peridot tried to ask, but was cut off.  
“Be quiet! Someone is going to hear us.” She frantically whispered.

Peridot was slightly startled, and continued her question as quiet as she could muster. “What are you doing in here? What’s going on?”

Yellow Pearl took a deep, shaky breath. “No, but I came to give you something. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but if you do, you need to do it now.”

Peridot gave her a puzzled look.

She stepped closer, and shoved the bag into Peridots hands. “This’ll have everything you need.”

“N-Need for what?” Peridot asked. “What’s going on?”

Yellow Pearl sighed, and set a hand on the girls shoulder. “Your mother is asleep. The storm is bad, the guards are patrolling indoors. Blue Pearl has set ladders around for you.” She continued. “We put one on your window. I want you to take this bag, find Lapis, and run. Run as fast as you can, and don’t come back.”

Peridot took a second to process everything said to her. She was shocked at what Pearl was doing. “W-What about you? What if someone finds out you did this?”

“I’ll be fine. You need to worry about you and Lapis. Blue Pearl is waiting at the gate for you two. Hurry, before someone notices she’s away.”

Peridot held the bag tightly. The opportunity to run away forever was right there. It would be hard, but it was possible. She’s never been able to even think of running away, but now that it was a choice, fear and excitement washed over her. 

She nodded, and opened the window. She looked out into the courtyard, already being pelted by raindrops. 

She was leaving forever. She could really be with Lapis. 

She’s barely ever set foot outside the castle. No one would know who she was. She and Lapis would have to fend for themselves, but they would be together, and they would never have to see their mothers again.

She didn’t even have to consider her options. This is what she wanted more than anything.

She found the large ladder hanging from the window sill. The cold wind rushed into the room. She slung the bag over her shoulder.

Before she leapt over the window sill, she looked back at Yellow Pearl, who was waiting for her to leave.

“Thank you…”

Yellow Pearl gave her a nervous smile in return, and with that, Peridot took hold of the ladder, and started to climb down.

As she took a few rungs down, as Yellow Pearl closed the window behind her. 

The wind and rain rattled the ladder, giving Peridot a hard time trying to hold on. She kept her body close to the ladder, and held as tight as she could. 

She kept carefully, but quickly, stepping down. The chilled wind made her shiver, but she couldn’t let that stop her. 

She finally made it down. She stood onto the grass, and caught her breath. She wasted no time finding her way to Lapis’ room.

She made sure to keep her steps quiet. Luckily there wasn’t any guards in immediate sight.

She snuck around the castle, until she found the window to Lapis’ room. She felt around in the dark for the ladder, and eventually found it. She set the bag down, and started to climb, hoping that the rain wouldn’t cause her to slip off. 

This was such a bad idea, but if this bad idea worked, it would be the best thing she’s ever done.

She climbed and climbed. The wind almost knocking her off multiple times, but she kept her grip. She couldn’t fail this. She wasn’t gonna let herself fail. She had to be with Lapis. Thinking of Lapis and her smile was always keeping her going.

She kept herself from looking down. Thunder started to crack. She desperately hoped and prayed that she could get to Lapis. She wanted to see her so bad. She wanted to run now.

She made it. She grasped onto the slick window sill, and pushed the window.

It was locked.

“Damnit! Come on!”

She knocked on the window. No answer. Lapis must have been asleep. 

She held herself on the ladder, and used one hand to bang on the window, but not too hard. She had to get Lapis’ attention, but she couldn’t wake anyone. 

She desperately pounded on the window. Trying to keep herself from falling backwards. All she could do was wait, and hope she could get her attention. She kept trying and praying that Lapis was alright, and would be able to go with her.


End file.
